Should I Stay or Should I Go? When Your Job Feels Wrong, but You’re Not Sure Why

There comes a point — maybe after a long stretch of just getting through the week — when a quiet question creeps in: Is this really it? Nothing’s on fire. You’re doing fine. But something feels off. You’re drained, you’re restless, and you don’t know whether the problem is your job… or you.

When you’re in this headspace, advice like “make a pros and cons list” or “build a go/stay plan” can feel disconnected from reality. You’re not operating in spreadsheet mode. So let’s talk about this in a more human way.

Start by admitting the fog is real

The first thing to acknowledge is that this feeling — the sense that something is wrong but you don’t know what — is deeply uncomfortable. Most people either try to numb it (by pushing through) or fix it immediately (by job hunting in a panic). But this kind of discontent usually needs space, not urgency.

You don’t need to solve it all today. But you do need to stop pretending it’s not there.

Ask the harder question: Is it this job, or is it the kind of life this job represents?

Maybe you don’t hate your company, your team, or your title. Maybe you’re even respected, well-paid, and on track. But something in your body says, This isn’t it. That’s worth paying attention to — not because you need to burn it all down tomorrow, but because that discomfort might be pointing you toward a deeper truth.

Sometimes the issue isn’t this job. It’s the whole path.

Maybe you’re craving something more creative, more physical, more human. Maybe your soul doesn’t want another strategy doc — it wants to make things, or teach, or build, or slow down. That’s not a failure. That’s clarity trying to break through.

What did you dream of before you got so tired?

One way to reconnect with what’s missing is to go back — not just to your past roles, but to your past self. Before this job. Before this industry. Before you became someone who could survive so well in systems that don’t feed you.

What lit you up when you had more energy? What kinds of things made you forget to check your phone? What skills come so naturally to you that you’ve discounted them?

You don’t have to turn a childhood dream into a business plan. But you do need to remember what it feels like to want something — even if it scares you.

Test reality in small, honest ways.

If you think you want something different, don’t quit. Start testing it in ways that cost little and teach a lot.

Write for an hour a week. Take a weekend class. Volunteer somewhere outside your world. Talk to someone who’s doing what you secretly wish you were doing. You don’t need to commit — you just need to gather real-world signals.

A job isn’t just tasks and titles. It’s an ecosystem: energy, people, values, rhythms, expectations. The only way to know what kind of work might fit you better is to try pieces of it in the real world — not in your head at 2am.

Track what breaks you — and what gives you back to yourself

When do you feel most like yourself at work? When do you feel most unlike yourself? You don’t need big answers. You just need consistent signals. Over time, they’ll show you what’s not working — and what might.

This isn’t a logic problem. It might be a self-connection problem.

If you’re feeling wrong in a job that “should” be right, you’re not broken. You’re becoming aware. And yes, that awareness can feel destabilizing. But it’s also your way out — not necessarily out of your company, but out of a life that no longer fits.

You don’t need a master plan. You just need to start listening. Really listening. To yourself.